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july-aug
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 ho ho ho |
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August Paranoia |
| BTW- was it dot mil who attempted to hack into my site this week or was it Cacophony? If one affiliates with those who identify with the group that calls itself Cacophony is one a Cacophonist? Are Cacophonists to be trusted? COME to think of it- the last time the Dipp&rtmiiint uf Deeeeffff#nzzz stopped by, it happened to be shortly after I had forwarded a certain babyhans URL to a Cacophony member. So now the real question is: how many cacophonists are working as undercover government agents? I've always had my suspicions. |
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14
August end of story - no memory no pain- a word of advice- save your pennies and pay the extra 300 bucks for sedation dentistry. Thank you Mr. M! |
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12
August Genius Photog
Geoff Corner (punkerotic.com,
geoffcordner.com)
is looking for a soul mate and perhaps you might be "IT." Here's
Geoff's "Criteria For Finding the Right Gal" sent to babyhans
via Friendster (Hey Mary Carey I think Geoff might be the guy for you) |
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The Man
VS The Movie |
 Hollywood Tour Guide |
 Our Future Governor? |
11
August |
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10
August |
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More fun than Marathon Man? |
6
August Twenty Years Later- It's Not Me it's Them When I was 20 years old I left Kane in Brooklyn and moved into my parents house for a summer. I worked in my father's gas station for a couple of weeks and then quit when I realized that my father wasn't going to teach me how to work on cars because I was a girl. I went to visit a local social worker friend who had helped me out a lot when I was in high school. She said "What are you doing back here- get as far away from your family as you can." I have 2 distinct memories from that summer. One is drinking too much Pepsi. The other is leaving town the day after my-brother-the-narc threw my-sister-the-junkie across the kitchen. |
| I
ask myself: Why am I thinking about a random summer 20 years ago? I. Perhaps it’s the chronic tooth pain. II. Perhaps it's returning to my day-job fulltime. III. Perhaps it's the new car stereo |
I. Mr. Miller thinks that I'm a complainer. I say no I'm not I'm just a native New Yorker. Old habits die-hard. My dentist tried to kill me with a pair of pliers on July 26th and I've been in constant pain ever since. He was only going to charge me $75 to pull the rotten tooth and I left the office in tears telling him that his tooth-pulling process was barbaric and that I needed to see an oral surgeon. If I were still working in the S/M House I would have charged him at least $250 to act out his tooth-pulling fantasy. And even then there would have been no pain for me. Well, at least I got a script for Vicadin. Enter Mr. Miller who doesn't really think I'm a complainer this time. Mr. Miller saved the day and took me to a fancy dentist in Pasadena (via the Gold Line) and then to an even fancier oral surgeon who will take care of my teeth next week for $900. I will be put to sleep just like 20 years ago when I was living with Kane and had all my wisdom teeth pulled. Except that this time I don't have insurance. And speaking of old high school flame Kane I just found out this week that he really "lost it" in 2001. Like I think he lost his mind or something. I'm still waiting to hear details. Gee and I thought he wasn't speaking to me because I was mad at him for not attending our 20 year high school reunion. The night of the reunion I'd left him a 5am drunken phone message saying that I'd felt like I was stood up for the prom… and no one even noticed that I was wearing Prada! (Thanks to Mr. M for the dress!) But really, what should I expect from my peers who voted me "Most Bizarre of the Class of 81." It's not me it's them. II. Take This Job and Shove It. I work fulltime because I am completely broke- like zero cash flow. Flash back 1972 or so. My Catholic Day Camp puts on a production of Sleeping Beauty. I want to play the Princess. I'm cast as the Cook. Flash Forward 15- 20 years later. I still want to be a princess but by day I support myself working as a cook. At night I get to play the Princess and men give me money and flowers in exchange for dirty dancing and sexual perversion. Flash Forward to the here and now. I no longer work as a cook (or a Princess) yet part of my daily job routine is fetching food that someone else has to cook. I am really good at it and I always deliver the lunch on time. I accept my fate as a member of the working class. I know that I am not a Princess because I buy Super Lotto Tickets twice a week. III. Get Yourself a Circuit City Credit Card. When my credit was still good I got myself a Circuit City credit card. It was really easy. I simply gave my financial info to a sales clerk who ran it through a computer and voila in 60 seconds I was the proud owner of a new JVC Digital Camcorder. I immediately started shooting a new movie. I pay my monthly bill on time and Circuit City upped my credit. I bought Mr. Miller a DVD Player and a Digital Still Camera. So last Friday I bought myself a new car stereo to ease the pain of spending 8 hours a day driving around in my non-air-conditioned car for the day-job. I listen to my old cassette tapes that I've dragged around the country for nearly 20 years. I'm like living in the 80's with my 83 Volvo listening to squeaky 80s cassette tapes. Fetching food is now a pleasure even if I am the oldest PA in Hollywood. Mr. Miller buys me dinner everynight. I am very much the Princess. |
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30
July
Surfing the Net: A couple of years back when I was an internet pornographer my cousin in Rockaway beach found me online. I sent her an email with a link to my adult website and then never heard from her again. I'd always wondered why she never responded- you see initially she had told me that she was into "art" and sent me a link to some site where she had posed nude (or so I assumed) for some community painter dude. Although I'm somewhat of an art snob, I'd thought that we had something in common (nudity + art) and could perhaps become email pals. Now I know why that never happened |
| Checking
My Stats I obsessively check my page stats to find out how people arrive at babyhans. In the process I often arrive in strange new worlds via miscellaneous users' keyword searches: THE HOUSE OF SISSIFY - for the secret sissy in you - I dare you to click on this link...Chuck Bronco and My Litte Margie get a mention in some old festival review |
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| Your
Horoscope for July 27, 2003 SCORPIO There is no way you are going to be able to keep a low profile this week so don't even try. Tuesday's new moon takes place in the area of your chart that governs your social status and your professional position, and it indicates that if you apply yourself forcefully, you will accomplish something truly remarkable over the next few days. This morning Mr. Miller and I were awakened by very loud gunfire at 4:30 am. Most nights we just sleep through it, but this was so LOUD like right outside the window- perhaps coming from a car parked in front of my house. The first shot was returned by another 8 - I don't know why but I always count. The return fire was a bit further off -maybe like a block away. Our bed is near the window on a main thoroughfare so we jumped out and crouched on the floor. I use to physically shake all over when I heard gunshots but after living here for over 4 years, I've become more accustomed to the weekly explosions and now, if it's really close, I just move away from the window and wait. Hans barked to go out (as he always does when there's shots fired) and I made him stay still. A chopper swung by, circled about 10 times and then flew off. Back into bed we went. All was quiet until 20 minutes later and then another 8 or 10 shots. This time we turned off all the lights (what a weird reflex eh?) and sat in the dark kitchen waiting for the return fire. I called the Rampart Station which I rarely do. They told me that a car was already on the way and did I see anything? And I'm like hey when I hear shots I get away form the window. A Rampart Officer once told me call the station any time I hear shots. She said what they do is look at the calls that come in (did you know that when you call the cops your address comes up on the caller ID?) and they figure the location according to the numerous locations of the callers. Now, If I called the station every time I heard shots, I assume that they'll put me on some neurotic psycho-list, so I limit my complaints. FYI- if you want to remain on the "good" side of the police don't call 911 unless it's a life-threatening emergency. Call your local police station instead. More Sunday Perversion Calmx sends a link to Gummy Bear Porn and somehow I imagine many bong hits were involved in the making of this site: http://www.geocities.com/gummybearporn From A Frank Rich Article in Today's NY Times "Finally, Porn Does Prime Time" The pilot for "Skin," Jerry Bruckheimer's new series coming to Fox this fall, shows that porn is well within the American mainstream." It's a sort of beautiful people's Romeo & Juliet/West Side Story - featuring the Jewish daughter of a Porn Mogul and the Latino-Irish son of a Los Angeles DA and a judge. Yeah or Nay -we'll see if there's any fun porn stars in it like Mila the Ass Artist or Bridget the Midget. http://www.NYtimes.com/2003/07/27/arts/27RICH.html If you can't get to the NYTimes story check out the FOX Site: http://www.fox.com/skin |
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©margie schnibbe/babyhans
2002/2003
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